I am often surprised by how much suffering my patients put up with. Many of them believe that they have no power against the forces that bring them down. Others are so bogged down with meeting the everyday demands of life that they forget to take time to actually live. They dredge through their lives, going through one disappointment after another, wondering if life will ever get any better.

Most of the time when I talk to people, I find that they are not as ‘stuck’ as they think they are. I have learned that the main reason we put up with feeling oppressed is because we are afraid of something. Afraid of being alone, of losing a job, of being negatively judged, etc. There are old stories in our minds that we believe as facts and they keep us stuck. Stories such as “I can’t make that change right now,” or “this is as good as it gets.” Often we know what changes we can make, but we are paralyzed by our fears or by our beliefs in those old false stories.

We know from neuroscientific research that our genes are designed to help us survive and thrive regardless of our circumstances. This means there is already immense power in you that is just waiting to be tapped into. I want you to discover this power and put it to good use. You can learn to let go of the old stories that limit you. You can train yourself to look at situations from a new point of view. You can make life changes that will give you access to your power.

The first step towards claiming your power is acknowledging your own value. If we don’t honor ourselves then we are not invested in improving our own lives. Too often we get so busy just trying to take care of everything else that we forget to take care of ourselves. We take our own well-being for granted and then are surprised that our lives are not going well. 

It is a fact that we function at our best when we take good care of ourselves. You can be much more effective in getting everything done when you come from a place of power and self appreciation. If you believe that you don’t have time for self care, then everything else you do will be limited by your fatigue and apathy towards yourself. In contrast when you make yourself a top priority, then you will approach everything else from a place of strength and assurance.

Make self appreciation a priority in your life. Then you begin to understand what is important to you and what you need in order to live a life of happiness and fulfillment. You will be amazed at how your life begins to shift in the right direction. The initiative must come from you. No one else is going to do it for you. Let me show you how to begin this process.

Starting next week, I will be sending you a 5-week series with practical advice for appreciating and understanding yourself. Each week I will give you one short daily exercise that will teach you how to turn your focus towards the most important person in your life: YOU.

In the meantime, try this two-minute technique I use to reset my state of mind any time I feel out of sorts. You can do this whenever you feel stressed. 

1. Either close your eyes, or focus your gaze on a single unmoving object. 
2. Inhale for seven seconds, and then exhale for seven seconds. 
   1. Count the seconds quietly in your mind. 
   2. If you get to three or four seconds and you cannot exhale or inhale any more, just hold your breath until you get to seven seconds. 
3. Do this for a total of two minutes or eight breaths. 

This simple exercise will slow down your heart rate and reduce tension. If you try this exercise, reply to this email and let me know how it went for you.

Thank you for reading, and I hope you join me on this powerful journey,

Dr. B.

Story of the week:

Let me tell you a story of a time when I forced myself out of my comfort zone and decided to do something brave. Ever since I was a child I had wanted to see Africa, but there was always a story or fear that kept me from realizing this dream. When I was 47 years old, my daughter announced that she was going to volunteer in Africa for two months. She worked for an entire year, saving every penny she made for her trip. She researched endlessly the different countries and volunteer opportunities. Watching her, I worked up my own courage and decided to join her at the end of her trip. We ended up spending two glorious weeks exploring Kenya and Tanzania. I took the above picture of mommy rhinoceros and her baby by Lake Nakuru in Kenya. I loved Africa so much that two years later I went back again with my husband.